9 March 1991

Hi Tim!

I got two letters from you at about the same time – Pretty nice.  First of all, when do you get to go home?  Hopefully real soon.  I know the reason I first wrote was because you’re in Saudi, but if you want to keep writing after you get back, that’d be great.  Truth is, it’s kind of boring around here, and a letter from you pretty much makes my day.  And no, I don’t have a boyfriend; but let’s stick to pen pals for now, okay?

By the way, you still owe me a picture.  I don’t care if it’s a bad one – look at mine; it’s definitely not one of my most flattering, but it is a picture!  And just to make you feel better, I rarely wear glasses.

Since you asked – Spain was great!  I stayed with a Spanish family the last 10 days, and every day they stuck me in their boiling sun for hours without sun screen.  But don’t worry, the burns eventually turned into a real nice tan.  The best part was a tiny village called Trujillo just west of Madrid.  It had this really old castle, and no other tourists!

Like you I’m going to teach, but I haven’t decided yet what I’m going to teach:  Math, Spanish, English, or just elementary education.  Just the other day someone told me I’d be perfect for the Peace Corps, so who knows?

Also like you I can listen to just about anything and eat all kinds of foods.  I like to listen to rock, classical stuff (like Bach), and 50s & 60s music.  But my latest favorite is that African group I told you about – Black Mambazo.  It’s all non-instrumental and mostly in Zulu, but it sounds really cool.  If you like I can send you a copy of my tape.  One of the few types of music I don’t like is that heavy metal head-banging stuff.  Naming my favorite foods is tough because I’ll try (and like) almost anything.  (Don’t worry, I never get fat.)  But I must say there’s nothing like a good old-fashioned cheeseburger and fries, with a chocolate shake to wash it down.

There really aren’t too many new groups out:  Wilson Philips, Nelson, Alias.  Mostly old groups like Sting are coming back with new songs.  The worst new group out is Vanilla Ice, a preppy rapper.

There’s a movie about the Doors out that’s really popular, and a Kevin Costner movie called “Dances With Wolves.”  Jack London’s story “White Fang” is a movie now, too.  What I want to see is “Awakenings” with Robin Williams.  It’s about a guy who wakes up from a coma after about 10 years.

The snow’s all melting here, so now everything is dripping wet.  A lot of the birds are already back and some people have even started wearing shorts again, even though the highs are still only in the 50′s.

I’m getting an apartment this summer and hopefully I’ll be able to do some traveling around the U.S. as well.  You wouldn’t believe how little I know about my own country.

So tell me:  what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back?  After 6 months you must have a whole list of things you want to do.  Whatever it is, make it creative!  As if I have to tell you that, Mr. Scuba, Sky, & Mountains!

Until next time, be good & keep healthy!

Love,

Jolie

P.S.  By the way, when’s your birthday?

P.P.S.  Long enough letter for you?

5 Marzo 1991

¡Hola Deborah!

As far as the apartment is going, it looks like you & Stephanie are going to be the only ones (I know) staying there for the school year, but I’ll be joining you guys in the summer (actually, you’ll be joining me in the summer).  Mom’s taking care of your leases, & I’m taking care of mine.

As far as Quantum Leap is concerned, we (meaning me & Amy) don’t watch much TV at all, even though we each have one.  She mainly watches MTV & I mainly watch the TV-10 movies.

Tonight I volunteered to do Telefund calling (you know, calling alumni to get them to pledge money to the university).  It was really fun, even though some people got rude about it.  Afterwards they said we could call anywhere in the U.S. free so I called Trudy & Ricky for awhile, then I called Jack.  Gladys was taking a nap so I didn’t get to talk to her.  Trudy & Patti positively hate each other, according to Trudy.  Also, Trudy turned herself in for treatment, for both depression and chemical dependency.  Did you know Trudy, her friend, Ricky, & his girlfriend are all living with Gladys?  Trudy also told me Gladys’s thinking of moving and (“you can’t tell your mom”) Ricky got his girlfriend pregnant.  I guess no one outside of their family knows, yet.  And she made it clear that Mom’s not to know yet either.  Ricky doesn’t have a job yet but they’re going to keep the baby.  And both Jack & Bob quit their jobs.

On to less depressing subjects, did I tell you the Mambazo concert was great?  Don’t worry, I have a copy of their Shaka Zulu tape from Andy & a copy of some other guy’s CD of them, so you can hear it when you get back.

You’ll have to write me details about these trips you’re taking!  And just how tan are you guys getting?  If you don’t stop having so much fun, I just might break & fly down there for Spring Break!

You got my pictures by now, didn’t you?  I’ve still got the negatives, and I know you didn’t get a picture of Sarah & Delilah yet.  Everyone wants one so I have to make reprints.  And with your camera – they lost it.  Mom kept asking them for it & finally they gave her your money back.  So you can buy a new one when you get back.  And Barbara and Bob want their New Years pictures.  Barbara wasn’t pleased when she found out I let you take them to Mexico.

Susie stayed with me last Saturday night while Amy went to a friend’s house.  She was sick & I had to babysit that night so we didn’t do much.  On Sunday we walked around a lot and she took pictures of the ducks.  I nearly went broke eating all my meals at BK & treating her to ice cream later.

I just wore my contacts for 40 hours straight.  I put them in around 9 AM on Thursday, stayed up that night until 4:45 AM working on English, and fell asleep with my clothes on and contacts in.  When I woke up a few hours later I only had time to change clothes and put a drop of Saline in each eye before I had to go to class.  And tonight I ended up babysitting late for my boss.  Before I left, I quickly took them out, cleaned them, and put them back in.  I just took them out again at 1:15 AM.  They were a little sticky, but I got them off fine.

Would you like to hear the explanation of why everyone thought Stephanie got sick & left Mexico?  Here’s the story:  Andy & I were talking about the latest news from Mexico (comparing notes).  We were talking about Stephanie when he suddenly mentioned that he had heard Maggie had gotten sick and had to go home early.  (Don’t worry she had tonsilitis but she’s fine now.)  Anyway, I was so busy thinking about Stephanie that I didn’t connect that he said Maggie instead.  So we talked about it for a few minutes, not realizing that the other person was having a completely different conversation.  Later when Mom picked me up, I mentioned what Andy had told me and asked if Stephanie’s parents had mentioned anything.  She got all worried that Stephanie was so sick she’d drop out of college, so she called Stephanie’s parents to see if she should pay the $140 rent down payment the next day or not.  Stephanie’s parents in turn got all worried and called Stephanie to see what was going on.  Stephanie didn’t know anything (except that it wasn’t true) and called both Andy & LeeAnne.  Meanwhile, Mom tells me she (& possibly Stephanie’s parents) think that Andy had just started the rumor to be popular or something!  I assured her that wasn’t true & went to ask Andy what went wrong.  After talking it over we realized it was just a tiny misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion.  It certainly got people jumping, though, didn’t it?

Did you know there’s a nationally known author of children’s books living in Springfield?  I interviewed him for an English paper.  It was a very shocking interview:  he’s not anything like I had expected.  He’s 38, tall, and thin like a basketball player.  He’s also gay, “living in the 90′s” as he puts it.  It’s weird because at one time he was married for 5 years and now he’s living with a man.

I started this letter on the 5th and now it’s 2:00 AM on the 9th.  I better say goodbye now and get some sleep!  Get it?  (Ha!)  ¡Hasta Luego!

Love,

Jolie

P.S.  Talk about hurting hands!

31 January 1991

Dear Tim,

How are you doing?  I have no idea of what it’s like over there right now for you guys, except for what they tell on the news about scuds, plans of attack, and casualties.  Are you & your brother doing alright?  Please let me know.

As you’ve noticed by now, I’ve put in a picture of myself, but don’t think I always look that bad.  It’s one of my most recent pictures, taken this summer when I was in Spain for a month touring around with 100 other people from local high schools.  Yes, that’s the very first snail I ever ate, and it wasn’t all that bad – it just lacked any flavor.

We started a new semester about 10 days ago.  I’m still undeclared.  I’m taking English, Spanish, Math, Geology of Nat’l Parks, and Self Defense.  My classes are tough but they’re a lot of fun, especially my English class.  Right now we’re learning to write descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue.  The textbook says we should practice by “observing” people – especially strangers – and describing them in detail.  Also, we should write down unusual overheard conversation.  Sounds like fun, huh?

Tomorrow night I’m going to listen to this really great Christian singer & guitar player with my younger sister here at the University.  Then Sat. I’ll probably babysit for my boss, and on Sunday I’m going with a bunch of friends to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo, the African tribe that sang with Paul Simon in “Graceland.”

I hope this war doesn’t drag on much longer, but from what I’ve heard of Saddam, he’d probably keep fighting just for the sake of fighting.  People here are divided on whether or not to support the war, but they all support you guys.  Keep on writing, and I’ll keep praying for you every day.

Until next time,

Jolie

Wednesday, 4 July 1990

We took 2 separate buses from Valencia to Madrid. My bus was the second bus, which left over an hour later for Villaviciosa de Odón, a village near Madrid. My bus didn’t leave until about 12:30, so we had time to go to the market. Michele & I tried to get along, but pretty soon we got sick of each other and argued. At the market I bought dried apricots, which I liked at first, but soon got sick of (as well as sick from).

On the bus Michele sat in front (of course, because she gets sick if she sits in the back) and I sat in back. I slept quite a bit, because it was a long journey (about 6 hours). We stopped for a small break toward the end to eat – the place was terrible. The bathrooms had no water & almost no toilet tissue. So the toilets didn’t flush & you couldn’t wash your hands. After going to the bathroom, I went to eat in the cafeteria. The prices weren’t too bad compared to what I’ve seen. I gave Michele my apricots, which she ate in record time, and then we took pictures of a beautiful view of a lake.

Back on the bus, I began feeling worse & worse until I couldn’t wait to get there, just to get off the bus. The teachers began walking down the aisle answering questions. They said if you weren’t nervous you weren’t prepared, & I wasn’t the least bit nervous. I did get a little nervous, though, when we drove into Villaviciosa. We stopped at a high school where we would have refreshments & meet our families. Almost everyone ran to the bathrooms right away. Michele’s family was waiting for her right outside the bus & began snapping fotos right away. I went in the cafeteria & was fine until one of the teachers called my name and fear suddenly swept over me. She then introduced me to my family. The mother has blond hair (bleached, of course) and the father has grey hair – they’re both the picture of good health. The daughters are both pretty and thin. Marie Tere – the 19-year-old – is mature & responsible & a large part of the management of the household; she’s my link with the rest of the family. What surprised me was that Estela (who turned 15 today) is blind. I had no idea, but I wasn’t shocked out of my senses or anything. They started talking very fast right away, so I couldn’t understand anything they were saying. I think I disappointed the parents because they expected me to be fluent or something. We left after a short while in their tiny car (all Spaniards have tiny cars) & they told me then that it was Estela’s birthday & they were going to have a party for her. It turned out they live in an apartment – not a house.

Thursday, 21 June 1990

About 5 of us girls went with Luis on a quick tour of Madrid. We walked a few blocks before Luis could flag down a couple of taxis. They took us to a park with a statue in it (I can’t remember for the life of me what it’s called). We piled Luis up with all our cameras, then climbed up on the statue so he could take our pictures (much to the amusement of a Spanish family nearby). Then we walked around snapping pictures until we ran out of time. We grabbed taxis again and went back to the hotel.

Back in the hotel, we packed our bags and boarded our buses. After a head count and passport check we headed for Trujillo. On the way we stopped in Talavera de la Reina, famous for its tiles. Unfortunately, it was siesta time (around 2-5 in the afternoon) and all the azulejo (tile) stores were closed. We went in groups and walked around. I was with Jenny, Mia, and Michele. We found a snack shop open and while they ordered sandwiches I just ordered a Coke. We had no idea where we were, but it was a small town so we weren’t worried. Some guy in the street saw us wandering around aimlessly & pointed out a good place for us to take pictures. It was a beautiful tile park with palm trees & storks in chimneys. We took several pictures, then decided to head back. We walked around confused until we saw a busy-looking road in the distance. We headed for it, knowing our bus must be close. And it was! We boarded & continued on to Trujillo. We got to Trujillo with the sun still in the sky. After putting our luggage in our rooms, most of us took off for El Castillo. Michele & I stuck to Luis, of course. Trujillo is a wonderful little village centered around a Plaza where a statue of Pizarro stands. A short distance from there is the castle. The streets are really narrow, and the Plaza is filled with touristy stores. It was so relaxing just to stand at the top of the castle and look out at the world with the wind blowing in your face.

Eventually we came down and returned to the hotel for dinner, which is usually around 9:00 and consists of 2 to 3 dishes, with dessert afterwards. At every meal you are given pan, which is bread in a hard shell. Almost always you get water as well. But let me tell you, you learn to appreciate your meals and especially your water because things aren’t cheap here. Pop is almost never less than $1 a can, and often runs higher; and water isn’t free.

Tuesday, 19 June 1990 8:30 P.M.

Actually, it’s 8:30 in Springfield, 9:30 in New York (where I am), and 3:30 a.m. (the 20th) in Spain, where I’ll be in 6-7 hours.

So far, things haven’t worked out so hot. The bus from Jefferson to the airport went okay. Michele and I gave Luis the birthday cake and card; the card – with a monkey wearing Groucho Marx glasses and an outrageous tie – was perfect for Luis, and he loved it. The birthday cake we cut into pieces so everyone could have some. Barely anyone took any, so Michele & I got stuck carrying it around with our luggage.

We arrived at the airport and checked our luggage in. While waiting in line, we kept asking people if they wanted any cake; one little boy hadn’t eaten all day, so his mom let him have some – he ate 3-4 pieces. After that, we couldn’t keep holding it, so we threw it away.

When we got to the lobby where we’d board, we found out our plane was running almost an hour late, so we all grabbed our carry-on luggage and took off to look around. Michele & I first went to the phones. She called her brother I think, and I tried to call Jarrett but he was at work, obviously. Then we checked out the gift shops. Finding everything too expensive, we just went back to the crowded lobby and sat on the floor to wait.

Finally it arrived and we all got on. We boarded from above ground; a hallway-type thing extended out to reach the plane, and we walked through it right into the plane. Then we took off for Chicago. We hit a lot of air pockets, which makes the flight really bumpy. I sat next to this really nice guy who said I could have the window seat because he flies all the time; he’s a design engineer. I guess his sister lives in Madrid, so he recommended seeing the Prado Art Museum.

On the plane, they gave us these little snack packages with a ham & cheese sandwich 2 sq. inches, a little thing of cheddar cheese, a strawberry, 2 crackers, & one of those tiny trick-or-treat candy bars. My ears popped & my stomach dropped over every bump, like on the roller coaster.

[Wednesday, June 20th 1990]

We got on our flight in Chicago pretty easily, but then we heard there was bad weather in New York and they weren’t letting anyone in or out. They wouldn’t let us off our plane, either, so we sat on the ground in a crowded airplane for over 2 hours. Finally the weather cleared & we could fly in, but by the time we got there our flight to Madrid had already left. They had tickets for most of us for the next flight to Barcelona, and I got on that one. 20 people had to stay behind in N.Y. The airlines paid for them to stay in a hotel & they got to tour Manhattan & stuff. Meanwhile, we’re flying on this humongous plane (the flight went well, for a change) on which we had to spend the night. But it wasn’t much of a night anyway, because it was like we were travelling in a time machine. It took seven hours to get there, but in that time 13 hours passed (6 hr. difference from NY to Spain). They offered (besides the meals) every diff. kind of beverage you could ask for. Almost anyone on the plane could’ve had a beer or wine if they wanted to, but I settled for coffee & juice. We landed in Barcelona (on the western coast) and got off. A bus was waiting to take us to the building. When we got there, everyone was feeling gross after being in the same clothes so long. We sat about an hour waiting for our luggage, which had to be checked. After that, we still had a couple hours ’til our flight to Madrid. We went into the main section of the airport and just camped out in the middle of the floor. Most of the group just slept, but after a while Michele & I decided to explore. We checked out all the different shops & tabaco stands, & bought our first helado (ice cream in Spain).

In Madrid (a short flight) we loaded our buses (2 of them) & headed for our hotel. We arrived too late to go on a big tour, so most of the people just went to their rooms, slept, took a shower, & went down to dinner. A few energetic people did go on a tour before dinner, though.

After dinner (which was big & accompanied by cheap-tasting wine) we went on quick night tours. Since we got there late, we couldn’t see the inside of any of the famous buildings, like the Prado Museum. But let me tell you, Madrid at night is wonderful. The streets are lit up, the different bars & such have their doors open to the public, and there is music playing everywhere. I think all the roads are made with things like rocks & bricks. One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that Spain is big on naked women. There are posters, postcards, billboards, etc. everywhere with women freely displaying their breasts, & sometimes the rest of themselves as well. It’s like this throughout Spain.

We also took the subway a couple of times, which was fun.

Wednesday, 6 June 1990 12:40 A.M.

Technically, yesterday was my last day, but I have to come to school today to make up my audit test for accounting.  Without it, I’ll get an F for the quarter.  With it, I could get an A.

Tomorrow is graduation.  Now that’s unbelievable.  Yesterday seemed like an ordinary school day.  I went to my classes, took tests, ate school lunch, and worked on accounting.  Today would probably be the same if I was going to be there all day.

After school today, Joey’s going to get off at Jefferson and I’m going to tour him around a little (sort of like how I did with Angie the last day of school last year).  Yesterday, Michele Stifler and I spent one-and-a-half hours correcting all of Luis’s finals on the scantron machine.  It was fun, because I’d never seen one before.

It’s frightening to think I graduate tomorrow, my party’s in four days, and I’ll be in Spain in two weeks, yet I’m not prepared for any of these events.  On Sunday, we celebrated Delilah’s baptism (christening), Sarah’s birthday, and Jeff’s birthday.  Jeff left that same day for Littleton (I think that’s the place), where he got a job working for a newspaper.  He didn’t even know where he’d live when he left.  Sarah got all her birthday presents on the 3rd instead of the 5th because all of Bob’s relatives were down for Delilah’s baptism.  As soon as she opened the first of her “birthdays” as she called them (a toothbrush with Miss Piggy on it) she got up and ran to the bathroom to put it away.  Then, after she had opened all her toys she – with the help of Gladys – put them all away in her bedroom.  She was wearing a most adorable peach dress, with white lace adorning it.  The funny thing was, my mom bought one exactly like it as Sarah’s birthday present!  At the baptism, Delilah was terrific.  She didn’t go into any crying fits, even when the water was poured on her head.  She sat looking over Barbara’s shoulder smiling at everyone during mass.

The other day Sarah said the funniest thing to Debbie.  They were outside, looking at Barbara’s flowers.  Debbie asked Sarah if she knew what kind of flowers they were.  Sarah replied, “Those are ‘petunas’ — and that’s fish, and that’s turkey!”

It’s 1:16 A.M. and I have to say goodnight.

Monday, 23 April 1990 7:50 A.M.

I’m so tired.  I stayed up all night reading a book.  The only time I slept was a little on the bus this morning.  On Friday me and Angie went to see some Spanish guitarrists, then our family hopped in the car and went to Dolly’s.  We got there around 11:00 P.M. and Dolly was at some fireman’s ball.  So us kids stayed at Dolly’s & watched T.V. while Mom went to where Dolly was.  They didn’t get home until after 1:00 A.M. (Mom had some guy following her around) and by that time Angie, Joey and I had fallen asleep with our clothes on.  The next day, after waking up late & showering, Angie, Joey, and I walked to a local imitation Dairy Queen and bought ice cream treats.  Then we walked to one bridge, took a path to another bridge, and followed the path to Dolly’s house.  The path soon ran out and we got stuck fighting our way through thorn bushes the rest of the way.  At one point Angie saw a snake, cut through someone’s yard, and walked on the road the rest of the way.  Later, as Joey and I fought through a particularly rough area, two little boys stood in their yard watching as we went by.  The youngest asked “Whatcha doin’?”  I replied “Oh, we’re just goin’ for a walk.”

Later, we all went to church at Dolly’s church, even though we were exhausted and it was hot.  Then we drove to Franklin for Dale’s Barbershop Quartet concert.  That lasted a while, then it was off to the Afterglow – as they called it – at the local VFW.  That’s like a second informal – and unpracticed – concert.  They handed out free all-U-Can Eat popcorn.  The best group was the State Celebration.  We stayed there until some time in the morning, then we went out to eat for an early breakfast.

Angie, Jenny, and I didn’t wake up until about 11:00.  I took a shower, then we watched T.V until Trudy got there.  After the parents left to go out somewhere, us four girls went for a long walk, bringing Jenny’s new dog Buffy.  We walked 1 1/2 miles to the lake, where we sat on a pier and dipped our feet in.  It was a hot and windy day.  The water was ice-cold, to the point of causing a dull ache if you kept your feet in very long.  We were all dying of thirst.  After sitting there a while Jenny thought she’d tease me by dangling my shoe over the water, only it accidentally slipped from her hand.  At first I thought she’d grab it right away, to save it from sinking, but slowly the waves sent it floating out.  Panicking, I jumped into the ice-water up to my lower thighs and waded out to my shoe.  My legs & shorts remained ice-cold long after I came out of the water.

We left for home around six.

Monday, 26 March 1990 10:18 P.M.

I write the stupidest stuff, don’t I?  The end of this week means the end of 3rd quarter, and we have to get all of our work in.  A couple weeks ago, I missed two days for Clowning Around, then another day for the flu, then after one day back in school I was out again for Aunt Edith’s funeral – 2 days because it was in Clinton and we were going to the wake the day before.  Now I’m in a rush trying to get all my late work in.

Clowning Around is a student volunteer group, where we dress up like clowns and go to the grade schools to teach them that they should never take drugs unless their Mommy or Daddy gives it to them.  We spent one day in training, then we went out to Randolph’s a couple days later.  I had fun being Tallahassee (Tally, for short) until the flu hit me, about half-way through the day.  I ached all over, and was in no shape to drive, but unfortunately I was the one with the car.

I’m almost ready for Spain.  I have my passport, and have already paid all except the last $944.  I’m going to be spending 26 days in Spain this summer, shortly after I graduate and a little less than 2 months before I go to the University.

I got to babysit for the Jones’ last night.  They are two teachers from Jefferson:  D. Jones teaches Spanish and G. Jones teaches Parenting.  I’ve had both of them for teachers.  They live in a really nice historical house near the University.  There are a lot of historical houses near there, and they are very beautiful (more so inside than outside).  The Jones’ have two daughters, Emily and Sarah.

John Gorski is a pervert.  He says the grossest stuff about sex and human biology.  His locker is a few down from mine, but hopefully he’ll be moving it tomorrow, like he said he would.  Normally, I just talk and joke with him if we’re both at our lockers, but when he starts getting disgusting and personal, I feel like moving my locker.

Candy Bars, Candy Bars, everywhere -

They’re getting under my feet;

Candy Bars, Candy Bars, everywhere

But not a bite to eat.

Sound familiar?  It should.  It’s a modern version of “Ancient Mariner” by Coleridge.  It just came to me, as I looked across my room at the many boxes of candy bars sitting there.  I sell them every day – for Spain – but I can’t buy any because I gave them up for Lent.  Shucks.

8 January 1990

It’s been over a year. I’m 18 years old. I have a little over a semester of school left before I graduate. In the summer I’ll spend 26 days in Spain. Then I’ll attend the university and study Elementary Education. I’ll become a grade-school teacher and marry sometime after graduation. I don’t know when yet because I haven’t met my fiancé yet, that I’m aware of. I would like to have kids and pets. I wonder if I will die before any of this happens. I’ll be flying to Spain, and the planes haven’t been working very well lately. They keep crashing or losing engines, sometimes both. All I ask is that I’m a good Christian when I do die. I definitely would not like to be put on a life-support system unless there’s a chance that someday I’ll be off it, or if God somehow suggests that I be put on one. Nurse is a very sick cat. Her gray hair is thin in spots, she has heavy dandruff (I hope that’s all it is), and she has hanging folds of fat. She is extremely old – 16 human years. She often throws up and never does more than walk slowly (unless she’s in grave danger). She usually sleeps in my room, but she has to stay out for a few days while I investigate why it smells like she pooped in here. I haven’t been doing so hot myself. Today was the first day back to school since Christmas vacation. I usually get to bed late and sleep during classes. Right now it’s 12:02 A.M. My room’s getting messy and I’m getting very lazy. I have to start doing housework. My muscles are becoming weak. I rarely do my homework at home. And there’s so much I have to do to prepare for Spain and college, I’m afraid I’ll be too ashamed of myself to marry. I haven’t been raised with the best habits and I’m not exactly pretty. On the other hand, I’m trying to do more things to improve my appearance, and hopefully I’ll remember this time to exercise, do my homework, and clean my room. I have to start acting like an adult. Barbara and Bob’s new baby is due the end of February, next month. They’re looking for a larger house than the one next door. Sarah was in her first Christmas program at their church. We (us kids) didn’t know until we were on our way to St. Bart’s for church. We all but made our mom go off on the highway and head for their church. As usual, she was adorable. We all have to be careful not to spoil her because almost everything she says is repeated and almost everything she does is talked about. Barbara and Bob were rather lucky they got such a well-behaved kid for their first child. She was never all that sloppy, and even though she does disobey sometimes and cries when things aren’t always the way she’d like them, she never was one of those terrible two-year-olds who got into everything and drove everyone crazy. She did color on the living room wall once, and got into my room while no one was looking; she smeared lipstick (“butter” she used to call it) all over her face and cut her finger with a razor blade. She once fell down the stairs almost from the top. She’s usually quiet around new people and when she’s in certain moods. She can stand there and stare at you silently as though she’s humoring you. Right now she’s really into London Bridges and Ring Around the Rosy. Mom and Debbie are becoming really concerned about Susie lately. I guess she’s been having nightmares. Debbie thinks she should see a psychiatrist but Mom can’t afford one. Joey gets violent all the time and Angie’s always sarcastically cruel to Joey. Sarah usually can’t come over because of the bad example we set. I always thank God for the family I have, but now that reality’s setting in, it gets depressing sometimes. I am so often thoughtless and self-centered, not thinking of others. I’m also what some would call a recluse. I stay at home almost all the time. I leave for school, babysitting, and every couple of weeks, shopping. I next to never go out with friends, or for social events. And the only person I regularly talk to on the phone is Michele, and usually she’s the one to call me. I’ve got to make some changes in my life, but once I start, it usually only lasts for a short while, then dies away. For example, a diary. Every so often, I say I’ll write in a diary. It’ll last for a few days, then I’ll forget and start a new one a few months later. Life is moving too fast. I’m no longer a carefree child, able to ignore important things. I no longer see myself, my family, my life, through just my eyes. I’m beginning to see it from the world’s. What used to be normal seems extremely abnormal and sometimes disgusting. All those times I’ve felt beautiful, yet people seemed to be humoring me. Now I know why. I probably seemed a very disillusioned child, one who should be protected. I wonder if I still am. I know I still am to some people. It’s now a quarter to one in the morning and with school and unfinished homework tomorrow, I’d better get to sleep. That’s another thing I never get right. Some nights I get as little as a few hours of sleep, and some nights I sleep on into nearly the afternoon. Very irregular. I can’t promise when I’ll write again, but maybe next time I won’t write so much.

-Jolie

By the way, I had a very nice Christmas, lots of great presents. I babysat all vacation, weekdays as well as weekends. I even babysat for the Rogers’ New Year’s Eve, but I called home at midnight to wish everyone a happy new year. I do hope it will be happy.