21 January 1993 4:30 P

I can’t even explain what I’m feeling, much less why I’m feeling it. It’s probably just that time of month. They’re attracted to each other, but he said they won’t get sexually involved. I shouldn’t give up so soon. She may pass, just like the others. Besides, even if he left, he’s not my life. I said all along when the time comes I’ll just move on. Yes, it’s probably just that time of the month.

Now is the time to get things moving. The further I get in the schools I’m majoring in, the more I feel stuck. I want to move, get out of here, get up and do something. I think I’ll look into the Peace Corps now.

I am trying to speed in a no-passing zone.

Sunday, 19 May 1991

Dear Todd,

First off, I’m so SORRY I didn’t write to you sooner, like when you got back.  I was suffering from a severe case of freshman stress when I got your letter, and am just now recovering.  Unfortunately, I misplaced your card (by the way, thanks!) and just found it a minute ago.

So how was your return?  I’m sure the initial thrill has worn off by now, but I’d still love to hear about it.  Did you return with a whole group of buddies, and was there a lot of people there to meet you?  I don’t think you ever mentioned if you have any family, but I hope some were there to welcome you back.

Don’t worry about my freshman stress, it wasn’t anything life-threatening.  What happened was, after years of sailing through high school with little work required of me, I got to college and found out THEY EXPECTED ME TO STUDY!  Really, I’m not as lazy as that sounds (not quite, but almost), but at the same time I was trying to keep up my classes & work, I was taking care of all of my older sister’s business while she’s studying in Mexico for the semester.  That includes taxes, financial aid forms, and finding her a summer job.

So, what do you do all day?  I have no idea what’s required of a sargeant in the Air Force, but I get the idea it’s really tough work.  You do get time off every once in a while for fun in the sun, don’t you?  It doesn’t take much sun to coax me outside; fortunately for my grades, Springfield isn’t famous for its warm weather.

I just realized, I barely know anything about you!  Don’t worry, I’m not going to pry into your deepest darkest secrets, but my point is that you probably don’t know much about me, either (except that I know how to play UNO)!  So hear goes:

Hi, my name is Jolie.  I’m nineteen & a freshman at university.  I have 4 sisters & 4 (obnoxious) brothers.  Other family members include my mother, my brother-in-law Bob, my 2 adorable nieces (Sarah & Delilah – as in from the Bible), and Nurse, the oldest grayest cat alive.  Luckily, I don’t live at home with this crew or else I’d flunk out of college for sure!  I live in the dorms right now & will be staying in an apartment for the summer, but I make sure I visit home often (just so they don’t forget who the missing kid is).  Other than that, there isn’t much to say.  I like old poetry books, walks in the woods, chocolate, making flat birthday cakes for my friends, and – on occasion – being completely alone in silent deserted areas.  I dislike heavy metal, cigarette smoke, too-mature children, and when people ask you “How are you?” and then start talking about something else.

That covers me.  If you ever feel like writing your life story, you know where to write.  And next time, I’ll try to write back right away.  Until then, so long and God bless you!

Love,

Jolie

P.S.  The booklet I enclosed is one I really appreciated reading, and I thought you might like it, too.  Let me know what you think.

P.P.S.  Do you think I use too many commas?

9 March 1991

Hi Tim!

I got two letters from you at about the same time – Pretty nice.  First of all, when do you get to go home?  Hopefully real soon.  I know the reason I first wrote was because you’re in Saudi, but if you want to keep writing after you get back, that’d be great.  Truth is, it’s kind of boring around here, and a letter from you pretty much makes my day.  And no, I don’t have a boyfriend; but let’s stick to pen pals for now, okay?

By the way, you still owe me a picture.  I don’t care if it’s a bad one – look at mine; it’s definitely not one of my most flattering, but it is a picture!  And just to make you feel better, I rarely wear glasses.

Since you asked – Spain was great!  I stayed with a Spanish family the last 10 days, and every day they stuck me in their boiling sun for hours without sun screen.  But don’t worry, the burns eventually turned into a real nice tan.  The best part was a tiny village called Trujillo just west of Madrid.  It had this really old castle, and no other tourists!

Like you I’m going to teach, but I haven’t decided yet what I’m going to teach:  Math, Spanish, English, or just elementary education.  Just the other day someone told me I’d be perfect for the Peace Corps, so who knows?

Also like you I can listen to just about anything and eat all kinds of foods.  I like to listen to rock, classical stuff (like Bach), and 50s & 60s music.  But my latest favorite is that African group I told you about – Black Mambazo.  It’s all non-instrumental and mostly in Zulu, but it sounds really cool.  If you like I can send you a copy of my tape.  One of the few types of music I don’t like is that heavy metal head-banging stuff.  Naming my favorite foods is tough because I’ll try (and like) almost anything.  (Don’t worry, I never get fat.)  But I must say there’s nothing like a good old-fashioned cheeseburger and fries, with a chocolate shake to wash it down.

There really aren’t too many new groups out:  Wilson Philips, Nelson, Alias.  Mostly old groups like Sting are coming back with new songs.  The worst new group out is Vanilla Ice, a preppy rapper.

There’s a movie about the Doors out that’s really popular, and a Kevin Costner movie called “Dances With Wolves.”  Jack London’s story “White Fang” is a movie now, too.  What I want to see is “Awakenings” with Robin Williams.  It’s about a guy who wakes up from a coma after about 10 years.

The snow’s all melting here, so now everything is dripping wet.  A lot of the birds are already back and some people have even started wearing shorts again, even though the highs are still only in the 50′s.

I’m getting an apartment this summer and hopefully I’ll be able to do some traveling around the U.S. as well.  You wouldn’t believe how little I know about my own country.

So tell me:  what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back?  After 6 months you must have a whole list of things you want to do.  Whatever it is, make it creative!  As if I have to tell you that, Mr. Scuba, Sky, & Mountains!

Until next time, be good & keep healthy!

Love,

Jolie

P.S.  By the way, when’s your birthday?

P.P.S.  Long enough letter for you?

31 January 1991

Dear Tim,

How are you doing?  I have no idea of what it’s like over there right now for you guys, except for what they tell on the news about scuds, plans of attack, and casualties.  Are you & your brother doing alright?  Please let me know.

As you’ve noticed by now, I’ve put in a picture of myself, but don’t think I always look that bad.  It’s one of my most recent pictures, taken this summer when I was in Spain for a month touring around with 100 other people from local high schools.  Yes, that’s the very first snail I ever ate, and it wasn’t all that bad – it just lacked any flavor.

We started a new semester about 10 days ago.  I’m still undeclared.  I’m taking English, Spanish, Math, Geology of Nat’l Parks, and Self Defense.  My classes are tough but they’re a lot of fun, especially my English class.  Right now we’re learning to write descriptions, anecdotes, and dialogue.  The textbook says we should practice by “observing” people – especially strangers – and describing them in detail.  Also, we should write down unusual overheard conversation.  Sounds like fun, huh?

Tomorrow night I’m going to listen to this really great Christian singer & guitar player with my younger sister here at the University.  Then Sat. I’ll probably babysit for my boss, and on Sunday I’m going with a bunch of friends to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo, the African tribe that sang with Paul Simon in “Graceland.”

I hope this war doesn’t drag on much longer, but from what I’ve heard of Saddam, he’d probably keep fighting just for the sake of fighting.  People here are divided on whether or not to support the war, but they all support you guys.  Keep on writing, and I’ll keep praying for you every day.

Until next time,

Jolie

16 December 1990

Strange Foods I Have Eaten

 

Ox tail

Cow stomach

Snails

Swordfish

Hank/Hake (Haddock?)

Gazpacho (?)

__________________________________

I’m the ultimate lazy person.  I’m one of those people who’ll be sitting in an armchair watching T.V. when they suddenly realize that the remote is on the other side of the room.  So they’ll sit there and suffer through a stupid show, hoping someone will walk by so they can say “Oh, while you’re up . . .”  Or sometimes they call someone in from the other room:  “Honey, come here a minute, I want to tell you something . . . I just wanted to say I love you very much, and while you’re here could you change the channel for me?”

I’m so lazy, I’ve caught myself doing what has got to be the worst act of laziness.  You know sometimes, when you’re lying in bed, the elastic corner of the bottom sheet comes off the mattress?  And instead of getting out of bed you try to pull it back on the mattress while you’re still in bed, but it never reaches because you’re weighing down the middle of the sheet.  So what do you do?  You “leap” and pull at the same time!

Jack – 1990

I’ve always felt a little in awe of Jack.  True, he dropped out of high school whereas I went on to college.  But my life is heading right into the center of the people – the world – as Jack’s life is more attuned to nature and the finer things in life.  No matter how hard I try to go the other way, a part of me has always envied his individuality, strong will, and peace of mind.  He has something no textbook can give you – wisdom.  I get the feeling sometimes that he thinks we look down upon him.  I wish he knew the truth, that we really look up to him.  I’ve never been suited for the people – life, but somehow I fell into the trap that money can buy happiness.  I can promise you, if ever I get that impressive career, I’ll be sitting at my desk wishing I was a little more like Jack.

Jeff – 1990

I’ve never really gotten to know Jeff as much as I’d like to have.  I would love to just spend a day just talking to him so we can get to know what one another are really like.  I think he shows a similar drive for success to Angie’s; something that’s lacking somewhat in the rest of us.  He’s established a goal and is reaching it.  And I think he cherishes privacy much like I do.  Maybe that’s one reason why I’d really like to get to know him; see what his hopes & fears are, compare his childhood memories with mine.  I’ve always seen him as the brother I could truly trust, my stable brother as Debbie is my stable sister.  And I’m sure with just a little more communication, we could become really great friends.

Deborah – 1990

What are Debbie’s good qualities?  To list what she’s done would almost be listing what I’ve done.  Yet, I’ve never felt any resentment or envy toward her for it.  How could I?  She can’t help being talented, well-liked, and gifted with a great sense of humor.  It’s possible that all this time I’ve been subconsciously following in her footsteps because I admired her so much.  Our high school schedules are almost identical.  I guess one of the things I like most about Debbie is her stability.  She doesn’t go through obvious mood changes, from giddy one day to depressed another.  You can count on her on one of your bad days.  I think she’ll make a terrific godmother for Delilah.  That’s one area in which I’d really like to follow in her footsteps!

Joseph – 1990

Joey, too, has changed quite a bit.  His temper has improved so remarkably that rarely does he blow his top.  He has joined a Hunter’s Safety class, showing the drive to achieve what he wants.  I’ve always felt a special sort of comradeship with Joey because he was the one I could go out on a hike with and be myself.  We could understand each other in a nature sort of way that’s very hard to explain.  Now that I’m older I really appreciate being able to talk to him because he reminds me of my tomboy days when  he and Ricky were my best friends.  Also, he has been put under a lot of pressure being raised with so many sisters in the house.  Somehow he has managed not to hate us, even after all the times we’ve teased him.

Thursday, 15 February 1990 11:10 P.M.

I am a loner. I actually prefer being alone. I work better when I’m alone, and I pray it’s not for me when the phone rings. I don’t know why this is, but it is. My best time is at night, because the house is so quiet I feel alone. Once when I had the house to myself for the weekend, I felt more energetic than I had in a long time. I did the dishes and cleaned the house some, but the most amazing part was that I cleaned Susie’s room. She had stuff piled nearly a foot high (honestly) with no floor showing. I sat in there for hours straight, happily working right up until they got home from Dolly’s. I love to read and think. But don’t misunderstand me; I also love my family and friends. Nearly every night I thank Jesus for them. I used to be the shyest kid around but, although I’m still a bit shy, now I have a much greater self-esteem. Once where I used to let anyone make fun of me, I now have a toughness that has kept me from being ridiculed for the longest time. I think people can sense I won’t take anything from anybody. I am what you might call a self-absorbed person. I know it’s a flaw, and it makes me feel guilty; but I tend to wear the attitude that the world revolves around me. I am a Jefferson High tutor, so the principal sent me a letter of appreciation. I laughed out loud when I read it, because it said that I had avoided the stereotype of today’s youth: lazy, irresponsible, and self-centered. Funny, but those are the exact words I use to describe myself. Of course, the principal couldn’t be expected to know that; after all, he wouldn’t recognize me if I wore my name in neon on a hat. Everyone was hoping tomorrow would be a snow day, so we could stay home from school. I hope against hope that it is, too, but I doubt it. By the way, you’ve probably noticed that I don’t use paragraphs. The simple reason is that it saves room. I like to use the whole line. I’m getting so tired my eyes are shut almost as much as they are open. You want to hear something amazing? I don’t quite understand it myself. I live in a time when everyone swears, especially high school kids. Yet I refuse to swear. I haven’t for years, and even then never intentionally. It might’ve just slipped out by accident once every few years. Even my mom swears all the time, even on Sunday. And here I am, feeling as though I’d be committing the worst sin possible if I said one bad word. I think maybe I was told something very terrible would happen if I swore – when I was a little kid – and it stuck in my subconscious. It’s getting closer to midnight, and I have school tomorrow. The other day I set a record for getting up late. I woke up, and ten minutes later was riding on the school bus. Somehow, in that time, I managed to get dressed, do my hair, get my candy bars together – as well as my books, – go to the bus stop, and head toward school, all in the span of 10 minutes. Not very wise. I usually have lengthy, interesting dreams with plots, and when morning comes I hate to cut them off. Because I know I won’t remember them later. It’s 8 minutes to midnight, so I’d better say good night. Good night!